Post deleted from Bishop Accountability AND Examiner

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This one, I know it's hard to take, and it's tumbling deep personal, still it has to be somewhere. The title was:

I Was A Six Year Old Sexual Predator

By Kay Ebeling
Written and posted at Examiner Dot Com in March 2009,
to reveal to the public how bad it got:

I was a six year old sexual predator

This week, Cardinal Roger Mahony makes one last ditch effort to prevent what happened in Boston from happening in LA, release of Catholic priest personnel files. We will cover document release up one side and down the other here at LA City Buzz, as this Thursday a hearing in LA Superior Court will finally decide whether files - including records of contact with law enforcement - will be released to a judge for in camera review, and then possible release to the public archives.
Part of the settlement in July 2007 where 510 plaintiffs received $660 million from the Archdiocese of Los Angeles included an agreement between the archdiocese and plaintiffs that personnel files of these perpetrator priests would be made available to the public.
The church is saying, those cases were all dismissed by January 2008 so no judge has jurisdiction over the cases any longer, if plaintiffs want to see documents let them file another whole lawsuit.
My case isn’t in Los Angeles, so I was not able to take advantage of that one-year window that opened in the Statute of limitations on child sex crimes in California in 2003, an opening that resulted in the 510 cases in LA. My case is in Illinois where the church is so entangled with the political landscape there is little hope for victims from more than 20 years in the past to ever see justice. My experience with the pedophile priest happened around 1953.
See in most states the SOL on child sex crimes runs out by the time you're grown up enough to report the crimes.
Illinois is where I was a six year old sexual predator.
At that age, a priest took me into the woods and “sexualized” me, as therapists decades later explained it. I liked what the priest did at age five-six, and I went on to be aroused pretty much for the rest of my life. Sex abuse by a man you think is connected to god when you are a child really leaves you confused, that's why the church has had to pay out so much in settlements, when pursued. At age six, I went down the street and took a group of kids up into a tree house. There, I told them all to undress with me and then showed them how to arouse themselves the same way the priest in the woods and in the rectory had showed me.
Until I was 45 I secretly believed Saint Michael the Archangel had visited me there in the woods in rural Chicago


at age five and bestowed in me this special energy. I went on to be basically a rapist for the rest of my life. I was a sexual predator. Because I was a female and hot looking, no one accused me of rape, but when I look back on it, I realize, I forced people into sex with me.
Call it what you want.
Why am I telling people I was a six year old sexual predator
I write this here now because some of the other survivors have given me feedback, don’t make us look bad. Don’t make it seem like all the survivors are sexual deviants.
They're not.
But at the same time, the damage done to us was enough for the Church to pay now billions of dollars in settlements to victims who were able to get as far as a lawsuit against the church. Most survivors don't get that far.
I'm coming out here so civilians can see, it could happen to anyone, rape by a pedophile priest could change the life of anyone. If we don’t admit how bad we were damaged, no one will ever know how bad were the crimes.
I'm admitting here the person I became as a result of the way priest sex crimes affected me. The crimes went on without inhibition in the Catholic Church for who knows how long, at least as far back as 1949, when Father Thomas Barry Horne got to my sister and then me in Bartlett, Illinois.
If only the Catholic Church could be as transparent as I am.
But no, still today Cardinal Roger Mahony fights release of priest files from the cases settled July 2007.
Tomorrow, more on the fight for personnel files in LA.

Post script
No, not all the thousands of victims who were raped by priests as children turned out to be deviants themselves, or suicidal, or predatory, or even necessarily unbalanced. But a few of us were badly damaged and acted out with our damaged behavior on other people and damaged them creating collateral damages. Residual damages are part of the crime I think the Catholic Church has yet to confess. Instead the “one true church” keeps trying to keep everything secret.
They think they can litigate their guilt away.